Monday, February 16, 2015

A collection of short stories about food in reverse chronological order, 
 almost as told to my class by our Social Studies teacher Ms. Catapano. 


Back before the Greeks colonized the European coastline, they had only grapes and olives. The grapes were good for making wine, and the Greeks made olive oil with the olives. They were pretty happy eating olives and drinking wine but they had no wheat or barley. With no wheat or barley they couldn't make bread, and without bread, they couldn't make sammiches. And they were starving because they had no sammiches.  

I realized I was feeling hungry. So I went home, and I realized I had no bread for sammiches. So I called Daughter No. 2 and she came ovah with some bread that had to go in the freezer. Some kinda thing with no preservatives because Daughter No. 2 is on a bit of a health kick. So I put the bread in the freezer, so as not to hurt her feelings, and went out to buy some regular bread for my sammiches. 

Salmonella Poisoning 

One day, I was doing paperwork in my room, and I was starving. So I went over to the deli and got a coffee and this little tiny cake. When I got back to my homeroom,  I bit into the cake and it was raw. It had not been baked and I thought to myself, I could have died from Salmonella poisoning. 

In the Desert 

The other day I was leaving work around 6:00, and I was very very hungry. So I started walking and it was so cold and windy and I felt just like the Jews starving in the desert. So I walked and walked and walked, and when I got home, I had no food in the house. I looked in the fridgerator and I had some left ovah Challah bread. And so I went into the closet and found some string beans and potatoes. And so I cooked that all up and then I was not starving anymore. 


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